Waitress at local bar, been seeing her there for a few years. Perhaps she agreed to this because I tipped a Franklin last couple times? I’m not implying Kelly is a whore, I’m just saying I’ve been a decent patron.

I might be leaving this blog permanently on private for privacy reasons. If that happens, feel free to request access if you are interested.


Duncan: You wore jeans too – no skirt and work uniform? Bummer.

Kelly: Sorry, I spend enough time in that. I figured things would be more pleasant without my filthy work clothes.

Duncan: Well hopefully you left the filthy underwear on at least?

Kelly: Afraid not, sorry.

Duncan: I’m kidding (sort of)

Kelly: I know. (and I know)

Duncan: Oh so you’re clever, well this should be good!

Kelly: Mensa

Duncan: WTF? Mensa, really?

Kelly: Can’t judge a book as they say. A brain doesn’t disqualify one from serving drinks, shocking as that may be?

Duncan: Not at all. Shocking because not very many are so smart.

Kelly: Don’t get your hopes up. My problems are as bad, just more complicated.

Duncan: Well, you look too sexy to be super smart.

Kelly: You look too sexy to be so sexist.

Duncan: Good point, fair enough.

Kelly: Chess now? or?

Duncan: I get it, or believe it, can I get you pregnant now?

Kelly: Sure, if you’ve figured out how to fertilize an egg with bullshit from way over there.

Duncan: (Don’t put your tips away readers, patience, I got this).

Kelly: You think? This should be interesting. (I think “they” are probably betting on not, whatever it is).

Duncan: It’s nothing in particular, it’s that I’ll win the interview in some way. That it will be good and that I will exceed their expectations in some way.

Kelly: Great. Now I know what I need to prevent in order to win.

Duncan: LOL. I like you.

Kelly: I like you too.

Duncan: There is a start.

Kelly: There is a start.

Duncan: Well, you look cute. Nice jeans, what kind of underwear underneath them?

Kelly: Don’t you wish you knew! Light pink I believe.

Duncan: Now I know, no need to wish. I wish to see them? I’d show you my underwear, but frankly I am wearing none.

Kelly: Is this standard practice?

Duncan: No, just didn’t want to bother, and my jeans were laying on my bed so I figured fuck it, just going to be sitting here doing an interview.

Kelly: How’s that feeling for you?

Duncan: Great. sorry, My ex. One second

Kelly: Okay. I’m going to use your bathroom if you don’t mind?

Duncan: Of course, sorry, I’ll be off when you get back.

(Kelly goes to bathroom, I get off phone with ex)

Duncan: Sorry, bad timing.

Kelly: I can wait or go if you need to talk?

Duncan: I don’t. She was drinking and wanted to fuck, I don’t see her anymore.

Kelly: Okay. Sounds like an opportunity, you sure? I can go?

Duncan: Positive: So, you are married? May I see your pink panties? Horny?

Kelly: No. Yes technically, divorce is not official, but divorced for the most part. You may see them in part I suppose. Horny? I’m not, not horny, good enough?

Duncan: Yup, all good enough. So let’s see them in part?

(hold on to your tips, have some faith in me, this is not win. Kelly undoes jeans barely enough for me to see, but pretty hot I must say)

Kelly: You might be the most confident man I have ever had the pleasure. Luckily for you, you are polite and quite the host.

Duncan: Thanks. It isn’t confidence, it is directness. That was hot, I’d show you mine too, but like I said I didn’t wear any. Very sexy panties, thank you!

Kelly: You are welcome. Yes I remember you have none, too bad.

Duncan: Nope. There are advantages to that though, look over here.

Kelly: What?

Duncan: You looking?

Kelly: ? OH, that’s you, dear God crazy man!

Duncan: Sorry, crazy?

Kelly: Is that even real? Yes so crazy!

Duncan: Sorry, just trying to be fair.

Kelly: You are a nut. That’s fake,  show me?

(Okay now you can tip readers, thank you for having faith – double digit bills are most appreciated)

Kelly: You didn’t win, you are just unreal! Who is like this?

Duncan: Nice to meet you, I’m Duncan. Say I win so my readers will keep reading, I’ll prove it’s real and we can start the damn interview. Just say I win Mensa beauty.

Kelly: Fine, he wins, he’s crazy.

Duncan: There, thank you. Please know my dear readers how much I risk and try to amuse, and more so get to the truth. We’ve accomplished one of the two so far.

Kelly: So you don’t think you have gotten to the truth?

Duncan: Not even close, but let’s finish the first part, then we will.

(She’s going to bust my balls and make this hard anyway so I stand up and let loose)

Kelly: Okay. Dear God.

Duncan: Why are you laughing at me?

Kelly: Sorry.

Duncan: Stop laughing, LOL, now I’m laughing.

Kelly: Sorry, you stop, I can’t stop.

Duncan: Shut up, now I feel self conscious.

Kelly: Sorry, okay. I don’t even know why that was so funny. That’s crazy!

Duncan: What?

Kelly: You are huge, sorry, don’t know why I’m laughing. You are very big Duncan, you got me there.

Duncan: Your laughing at me, is it deformed?

Kelly: No, stop, my side hurts. You stop laughing, you’re making me laugh.

Intermission so we can stop laughing at me

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