Pause

Judge me for ever messing around with married women?

Is it all on me to keep everyone on track morally?

How about these husbands who went all out to get them,

and selfishly took on more than they could ever make happy?

I held back while these guys took too little care with their promises –

bowed out when not ready – knew a girl enough to know I wasn’t it.

Husband knew too that he wasn’t good enough, or fucking should have,

So don’t judge me for being part of how she manages to endure him.

13 thoughts on “Before You Judge Me

  1. It seems a lot more opportunities for love and happiness might reveal themselves for everyone (even the onlookers) if couples could freely discuss and seek intimate relationships outside of their own, if/when they want/need that without stigma.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My dad is a psychologist and does a lot of couples counseling. He likes to say that cheating is like a nuclear bomb; you have all the troubles in your relationship, and then you drop the bomb and you can’t go back. I think the women you’re with choose to be with you, and it’s about them trying to be free. Second Jelebaba; so much of the misery of the world would be improved if people could just ask for what they want. That’s a theme I’m working with on some of my dom/sub stories – the sub is the one who’s really seeking it, because they want permission to enjoy themselves.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. As a sub, I completely agree. Being honest about my own needs was so difficult (lots of guilt and fear and tears, socially as much as personally), but my partner has accepted me with open arms, so now we have the pleasure of exploring this together.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I read this book “Whip Smart” by Melissa Febos, her memoir about being a dominatrix in NYC. I related so much to what she was talking about; she got really deep into the emotional aspects of sub/dom dynamics. I’m really glad you have someone you can share with!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. That’s interesting. Yes, I’ve noticed many people are seeking permission, justification or for someone else to help offload some guilt by sharing in the decision (demand it of them even). Never thought about it in terms of a part of what might motivate a sub (not a lot of experience with that) but it makes sense.

        Like

        1. Oops, wait, I should clarify. To be clear, my reference to being a sub was not meant to address the feelings of guilt–just to acknowledge that subs do actually hold a lot of power and want permission from the dom to give that power up.

          My feelings of guilt came from wanting a polyamorous relationship due to all of the social disadvantages that come with that from judgemental onlookers.

          I did not mean to conflate them, necessarily, but they could intersect for some people.

          Intersectional issues. Maybe some subs do feel guilt about their fetish, but that isn’t exactly what I meant to imply πŸ™‚

          Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you have a consenses here! Who ever is “cheating” holds the responsibility for their actions. I always believe communication is best but if a spouse won’t listen, won’t give what is desired, needed, to maintain mental and physical well-being in the relationship the needs not being met will manifest behaviour that can be almost compulsive (uncontrollable).

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s