Just had a date (dinner) with Shelly. She won’t tell me her age, weight, nor height. My guess, 5 foot five inches, 125 lbs, 35ish, largish perky boobs, blond hair – very straight and long, fair skin, not a lot of makeup but red lipstick, apple watch, sassy, fit, seems to have her shit together.
Duncan: So, we had a date, then came here.
Shelly: We did, was a lovely dinner, and a nice stroll. Thank you.
Duncan: It was nice, agreed.
Shelly: Best date in a while. So far anyway, you’ve got time to mess it up.
Duncan: Well hopefully this interview won’t undo that for you, I am sort of, as one friend put it “obsessed with these interviews.” She is right, and it’s hard to explain, but I feel like I am the only one who will do these – that will ask people to do these. People probably think it’s crazy. Thank you for being a sacrificial lamb for this mission.
Shelly: Very unique mission. I say if you feel it, go for it. Who cares what people think, you are a rock star!
Duncan: I’m a rock star? Hot damn!
Shelly: Oh lord, I fed the ego. What was I thinking? Just trying to help.
Duncan: I need help?
Shelly: Serious help. But, holdup, you are brilliant, overwhelming even. You just seem in remorse or worried? Probably inappropriate to ask, but what happened to you? Who hurt you? Sorry, I try to put my work aside. it is hard not to analyze.
Duncan: Yea, but it’s supposed to be your interview. It’s good though, there is no censorship, you are being honest – honesty pulls rank. Death hurt me, people closest to me dying, That, and shame for not living up to things, psycho ex, there is your answer. Good? Can we interview you now?
Shelly: Yes, of course. That makes sense, would like to hear more about that sometime. Go ahead, ask your questions.
Duncan: You are gorgeous. Why did you go out with me tonight, and not someone else?
Shelly: I’m a sucker for hard luck stories and geniuses with gorgeous blue eyes
Duncan: (I didn’t pay her for that answer) neither is true! What is with you, how do you always turn YOUR interview back on me?
Shelly: I am sorry, did you want a subservient robot to interview? cuz we can try to line that up? Your eyes are blue. If you aren’t ridiculously smart, you fake it well.
Duncan: Smart ass
Shelly: That too.
Duncan: Can you show your tits or underwear?
Shelly: Nope, can you suck a dick?
Duncan: Hell no, never?
Shelly: There’s your answer.
Duncan: Wow. Hater!
Shelly: Should I just remove my clothes on your command? Goodness, buy a girl a drink first? Actually, you bought me three drinks and a nice dinner. Back up, change that to, “buy a girl a pair of shoes and a Cupping massage?”
Duncan: LOL, smartypants, caught in your own rhetoric! You’re in a skirt, how hard is is just to spread your legs a bit.
Shelly: You are seriously ballsy! Who does this?
Duncan: Me, Nice to meet you I’m Duncan. So, you can spread your legs and show me those ugly granny shorts you are wearing, or we can move on to other questions.
Shelly: There, because It’s not a big deal.
Duncan: If it’s not a big deal then let’s see for real, not a flicker of a view.
Shelly: There, satisfied?
Duncan: Hell yes, white panties, very nice. Thanks.
Shelly: You’re used to getting your way, right? Because you’re cute, girls fall for this behavior?
Duncan: I’m cute?
Shelly: Fucking gorgeous! Wait, see there you go, your trickery at work.
Duncan: Trickery? STFU, no tricks. But nice white underwear, that was hot!
Shelly: I’m sure it was. Thank you.
Duncan: So, cool, you think I’m “cute,” and what was it, “gorgeous?” i guess that means we’re good to go!. DTF? right on!
Shelly: Wrong, dream on. Next
Shelly: Oh, poor you.
Duncan: You a lesbian?
Duncan: You like dick?
Shelly: Only if it’s biker dick in my ass!
Shelly: Just making sure you are paying attention.
Duncan: Of course I am. You like biker dudes in your ass?
Shelly: Biker guys, mmmm, yummy. I swear to god I have never nor do I think I ever want to have anything up my ass. Unless it’s put up there by a doctor for a necessary medically procedure.
Duncan: Really? You should try it, some women even come like crazy from anal, so I hear.
Shelly: Do they? I can’t see how that would be pleasurable.
Duncan: So what have you done then?
Shelly: Everything else, just not that.
Duncan: So you’ve done three ways, and butt plugs, and public sex, group sex, girl on girl? Double penetration, donkey shows, cousins, space aliens, and nostril sex?
Shelly: OMG no, freak! Okay, I meant I have done the normal, mainstream things.
Duncan: You’re missing out, nostril sex is the best. Love to tap that shit!
Shelly: No thanks. sounds difficult. They must have some big noses or you a tiny pecker. Small pecker would be my guess.
Duncan: You are brutal.
Shelly: Thank you.
Duncan: Ever have an orgasm?
Shelly: Of course.
Duncan: During intercourse?
Shelly: Yes, that too.
Duncan: When is the first time you masturbated? What age?
Shelly: I was an early adopter, 16.
Duncan: Wow, you have a toy at 16?
Shelly: Hell no. I had phalanges, good enough.
Duncan: Tell me about the first time you had sex?
The rest of this interview with Shelly will be posted depending on reader interest.