In case anyone is curious, an inside baseball look at growing up a male and dealing with  erections, and some facts about them.

The first erection, I’m sure it wasn’t my first, but the first I can remember,  happened when I was around 9. My friend and I were with his mom at a private tennis/health/swimming club, and she took us in the locker room area with her, to change into our swimsuits, to go swimming.

I remember being in some kind of changing stall, with a curtain. Through the crack in the curtain I saw the mom in the mirror – She was just in the open locker area.

I watched while she got undressed, I can still remember what her bush looked like, everything.

And, I got the first erection I can remember. What did I do? Well, of course I walked out and showed the mom. And she was standing there naked. I can’t remember or imagine my thought process, was it “Well would you look at this, WTF is this shit all about?”

I do remember her ushering me back into the stall, and me not understanding what the big deal was, what the urgency to get dressed was.

I still know this mom who saw my first erection. – still embarrassed by it. 

In seventh and eighth grade I was forced to take ball room dancing and etiquette lessons with other friends, and kids my age. And girls. We had to wear coats and ties. It was ridiculous.

The first evening I went to this, they made us dance with a girl. Every class we would have to dance with one. They would line the boys up on one side of the dance floor, the girls on the other, and we’d have to walk straight towards each other and the girl you ran into was your partner for the night.

The first night, I ran into a girl taller than me, and not very attractive (not to be mean). The second class I was lined up with the prettiest girl in class. And what did I do when we began dancing? You guessed it, got a damn erection!

Here are some erection facts:

  • The average erection is 5.6 inches long. …
  • The world’s largest erection is 13.5 inches. …
  • The average erection takes about four shot glasses of blood
  • A healthy man, on average, has 3–5 erections during the night. Each erection lasts about 25–35 minutes.
  • Jonah Falcon is believed to have the world’s largest penis. Erect, his penis is over 1 foot long. When flaccid, it measures 9.5 inches
  • For every extra 30 pounds a man carries, his penis shaft is buried by about an inch
  • Men with smaller, shorter penises have erections that can increase penis size by 86%. For longer penises, penis size increases by about 47%.
  • a penis is not a muscle. An erect penis is more like a sponge that has filled with blood.
  • Priapism is a medical emergency in which a penis remains erect for longer than 4 hours. It is a painful condition that is unrelated to sexual arousal or stimulation.
  • A “death erection” is a post-mortem erection, especially in men who have been executed by hanging. Technically it is a priapism (when blood gets trapped in the penis), the phenomena occurs when the noose puts pressure on the cerebellum.
  • Oral sex typically leads to a larger erection than other types of arousal methods.
  • Researchers estimate that less than 5,000 men on earth have an erect penis over 11 inches long.
  • Certain smells can increase penile blood flow during an erection, such as licorice, pumpkin pie, lavender, donuts, and chocolate.

I never really had the “erection while going up to the chalkboard,”  thing happen, or any  erections in class – I never found school/class that arousing. Class trips on the other hand, or buss rides to games with the cheer leaders, different story.

As I mention on my Author Profile, When I was a sophomore, I was on a school trip to disneyland. A senior girl started holding my hand and I got an erection. I was wearing tight Levi jeans, no room to grow, and I broke my dick. They had to carry me off the buss, I pretended I had a stomach pain.

There are actually three types of erections:

  1. There are reflexogenic erections, which are caused by, well, someone (or something!) stimulating the penis physically. The signals don’t even reach your brain. (That’s why it’s called a reflex.)
  2. Then there are psychogenic erections, where the signal comes from your brain. Yes, when you think lustful thoughts.
  3. Then there are nocturnal erections, which are the ones that happen at night (and in the morning) whether you like it or not.

What else can I say? They get much less spontaneous as we get older, or perhaps I mean much less frequent?  But, sometimes they will rise out of nowhere, even for no good reason. I was listening to some financial radio show a few weeks ago, on a short driving trip, and there came an erection out of the blue; so, I did the only thing a guy could do in such a situation, let it loose and finished er’ off, naturally.

Forget getting massages, you can never know if you’ll get hard or not. And, if you do, you’ll look like a total pervert. Odds are 50/50 for me on that, so I avoid them.

Here are some unpublished facts you know from being a guy

  • It is impossible to take a piss with an erection.
  • We worry about getting them when we first kiss you, just kissing.
  • We learn to avoid tight pants if there is any chance we might get one.
  • If you so much as graze it with your hand, it might happen

I’m sure there are facts I have not included, and I certainly have more personal anecdotes, but I’m not sure this topic even interests anyone.

Please feel free to use the comments, and share your own thoughts or stories.



7 thoughts on “Erections – Some Personal History and a Variety of Facts About Them

  1. I enjoy your blog post. This one was very interesting and entertaining. I didn’t even think that losing weight would increase erection size, but it does make sense.

    Liked by 1 person

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