Mind Reading is Empathy

When you see a painter’s paint,
Belief it’s imagined by your brain,
then let flat canvas melt away and
Take you to the painter’s plane.

While you hear a singer sing,
Steal her tongue while the song is sung.
And as your ear becomes the mouth,
You’ll know the soul the song comes from.

As you read these word I write,
be the voice who sends them forth.
Eliminate the medium,
speak through the author’s eye.

Words, sound and images –
each a part of consciousness.
When we truly borrow a part, we
become the mind who made the art


The Breadth of Hope

I am, you, this blog, your blogs, all the readers, look at us?

Look. We’re all chasing down the same kernel. the same answer.

We want truth, we want to be warm and loved, to love, and to be safe.

We want to be okay. For, everything to be okay. Then we can smile.

Like we felt on Christmas morning, like we felt when we first fell in love.

What I Think I Know About Women and Sex

I thought this might be fun — and it would be great if any of you women want to blog responses/corrections to my answers, or a “What I think I know about men” version.

The main thing I know about women is that they are all different, like everybody, so pardon me for any generalizing I might need to do, in order to answer these questions. Also, I’m just a guy after all, so what the hell would I really know? But — here’s some stuff I think I know.

What Do you Know about the Clitoris?

The clitoris originated inside the vagina and evolved to be outside. There still are species that have the clitoris on the inside – such animals, like rabbits, need to be stimulated (or orgasm) in order to trigger the release of an egg. Human females release eggs monthly, and do not need to be stimulated to do so. The clit begins as a penis, or a penis begins as a clit, and specifies during early fetal stages.

Clits are different sizes, and located in slightly closer or farther distances outside the vagina. I think women with a larger clit, or one closer to the vagina, tend to orgasm more frequently, and/or more easily.

What do you know about female orgasms?

The scientists say there are three types of female orgasms — clitoral, vaginal, and g-spot. Also, the magical “all in one” orgasm  that some talk about.

I don’t see it as different types of orgasms. I see it as different routes to orgasm.

Let me give an example. If I concentrate long enough, I can make myself hard and ejaculate, without touching myself (and without anyone else touching my penis.)  While the orgasm I have through this route is much stronger, it is not a different orgasm, just a slower, stronger orgasm — achieved through mental, and not genital stimulation.

I think the vaginal and g-spot orgasms are similar, in that they are different ways to reach orgasm, other than directly stimulating the clitoris. And, like my example, it takes longer and is more difficult for women to achieve an orgasm indirectly, through non-clitoral stimulation, but is often a stronger (as they say “full body”) orgasm.

Achieving orgasm = 30% mental, 40% anatomical, 30% technical. Technical meaning the right angle, tempo, and duration. Anatomical, her and him – is it a good fit, does he curve into your spot, location of your clit, size and fit of both genitals.

What do you know about timing?

During part of a woman’s cycle, she is attracted to sensitive, care-taking type guys, and at the other end of her cycle, she is more attracted to muscular, harry, masculine type guys – and is much more interested in having sex.

What do you know about three-ways?

Like I said in my last post, evidently they have the most of them in Australia. And who could blame them, with accents like that, who wouldn’t want to fuck just about every one of them Aussies who spoke to you?

They always have gone wrong somehow for me – several near misses, and I don’t even try anymore. But, statistically, and from women I’ve talked to, MMF is a very common fantasy. The MMF three-ways I have heard about, sound like they went well.

You also read about horror stories, and I read one statistic that the average relationship only lasts thee months after a first three-way experience.

Women seem to be open to the MMF three-way. The times I have heard about things going wrong, are when the second guy is a good friend of the boyfriend/husband. I wouldn’t do one, MMF, but I can see how it is a hot fantasy for women.

Girls want MMF three-ways.

What do you know about women and cheating?

I know that they cheat as much as men — they don’t get caught as often, and on average, don’t suffer as significant of consequences when they do get caught. Have you ever heard of a man dumping his wife, flat out, for cheating on him? Have you heard of a woman doing this to a man, and probably taking half of his money with her?

What do you know about women, contrary to what people generally think?

Women don’t usually stop wanting sex – anymore than guys. It often isn’t even about their man. Women with wealthy, handsome men, cheat too. I think their role becomes non-sexy, When they sleep with their husband, they have a certain role they have to play – same one they always have. Also, many women have adopted the role of “mom,” and it is hard or impossible to escape the mom role, and other roles, while having sex with husband – they need to go completely outside their role/family/circle, in order to see themselves as sexy, and sexual. It’s about them mainly.  So, a woman may seem uninterested in sex, and may even believe themselves, that they have no interest in it; however, with a different man, in a different context, they can drop having to be the typical role, and suddenly sex is sexy again.

Women are raised to not overtly express themselves sexually, in order to appeal to men who are socialized to beware of young women who are too sexual. Also, women are more cautious, and probably more responsible.  When the risk, danger and shame are removed, women are a lot like us men.

Unproven Sexual Truths We Just Know – and Proven Facts That Might Surprise

Some of these “truths” are backed by studies and experts, some of them I include sources for, some I didn’t include a source but you can look it up, and for some there is no supporting evidence – but we know they might be true.

There are things we all kind of know, or suspect, but we (society) would rather not pin down as scientific fact. Perhaps there have been a study or two done that hint at validity, and some of these “truths” seem like they would be fairly easy to verity, if we put our science to work on them.

I get it – and actually support it. But I find it interesting, how science pretends right along with all of us  (or suppresses and denies more like) – certain things that are obvious but uncomfortable.

There are also some interesting truths that science, or Google search data has concluded, that are contrary to popular belief.

Some “truths” may be trivial, but we’ve done studies on what affects asparagus has on the color of our pee – we’ve documented that dogs prefer to point north-south when they urinate and defecate.

There are probably things that are better left alone – to be polite, if for no other reason. Here’s a homework assignment, now that your mind is on it, see if you notice other aspects and correlations in life, that are right in front of us, but science or culture, is to shy to recognize.

  • Female orgasms, particularly vaginal orgasms, increase the probability of conception.

Most of the science on female orgasm, describes it as an evolutionary left-over – once necessary, and no longer relevant to survival and procreation. Certain animals like rabbits, and some that we evolved from, require an orgasm, or sexual arousal in order to release and egg to be fertilized — that is why their clitorises are located in their vaginas, and not outside the vagina, like with humans.

There are a couple theories that propose the human female orgasm, still plays a role in procreation.

        • One theory of how female orgasm may help with pregnancy achievement is called the “upsuck” theory. This hypothesis suggests that the contractions of the uterus help “suck up” the semen that gets deposited in the vagina, near the cervix. The orgasm then helps to move the sperm through the uterus and Fallopian tubes.
        • Another suggest that orgasms help women with mate-selection — men that can make her orgasm, a sign that he will be a better mate.


  • Larger penises are more likely to stimulate orgasm (thickness=clitoral orgasm,length=vaginal orgasm,curve up and rigidity – g-spot orgasm).

There has been a recent study that, sort of concluded that a longer penises is more likely to give a woman a vaginal orgasm. It actually only proved that women who like longer penises, have more vaginal orgasms.

That is all the evidence there is. I think may know the truth about this, I’ll just leave it there.

  • More women search online with complaints about their men being too big (and pain) than searches related to their men being too small.

  • Longer penises increase probability of conception.

Evidence is family size in Africa and common sense.

Penis size is only discussed in the context of sexual pleasure, and never in the the context that relates to why the penis even exists. Duh, it is tubular and exists to deposit semen – to get sperm to where they need to go. Obviously, a longer penis delivers the package closer – obviously, the sperm have an easier journey, with a higher probability of success.

  • Women get bored of their partners quicker than men.

  • 25% of porn searches by women are for rape & pain.

“Fully 25 percent of female searches for straight porn emphasize the pain and/or humiliation of the woman,” he writes, citing search terms inappropriate to reiterate here, but featuring words like “painful,” “extreme” and “brutal,” and often focused on non-consensual sex (depictions of which, he emphasizes, are not permitted on that site).”

  • Australians have the most threesomes of anywhere in the world.

  • 20% of people have had threesomes.

  • 10% of women and 18% of men want a threesome.

  • Dick size is as significant to attraction for women as height and broad shoulders – after 3.6 inches the significance lessons but still increases attraction.

There is a study on this, you can google it.

  • The average length of intercourse is not 30 minutes or an hour – actually between 2 and 7 minutes.

  • A lot more women than men, never get caught and never tell.

  • Women sexuality is more physical and less complicated than people think – men’s sexuality is less physical and more complicated than we think.

  • Guys lie up – women lie down.

  • Men scale down their masculinity for women – feminists tell us it’s toxic – heterosexual women are attracted to it.

  • Of woman who ended relationship over penis size – 7 percent ended it because their partner’s penis was “too large” and 20 per cent said it had been “too small”.

  • Sexless Marriage is common

On Google, a top complaint about a marriage is not having sex,” Stephens-Davidowitz writes. “There are 16 times more complaints about a spouse not wanting sex than about a married partner not being willing to talk,” he writes.

“Searches for ‘sexless marriage’ are three and a half times more common than ‘unhappy marriage’ and eight times more common than ‘loveless marriage.’ Even unmarried couples complain somewhat frequently about not having sex. Google searches for ‘sexless relationship’ are second only to searches for ‘abusive relationship.’”

Google data reveals your most perverted secrets

  • It might be men who are more often the cause of sexless relationships

These searches also show that men may be the ones holding back, as “there are twice as many complaints that a boyfriend won’t have sex than that a girlfriend won’t have sex.”

And Google searches suggest a surprising culprit for many of these sexless relationships. There are twice as many complaints that a boyfriend won’t have sex than that a girlfriend won’t have sex. By far, the number one search complaint about a boyfriend is “My boyfriend won’t have sex with me.”

Google data reveals your most perverted secrets